This is a vent about my gender, how I feel about it, and trying to explain it. (This is a vent so it might not make much sense)

Honestly...it's really hard to explain it. I feel like a boy but, I don't at the same time. I aslo don't think that I'm not non binary. It might be the feeling to not wanna bother people about calling me my perferd name or pronouns; I do really like when people call me sir or him. It's really nice, and I really enjoy it.

I bought a binder, and changed my name and pronouns on social media. I really like it when people online or in games say "Hey! MK" or something along those lines. I really like the way I look in a binder, I look masculine (but not masculine enough for people to say he) I've started to wear more 'masc' clothes, and it's really nice. I don't want to cut my hair but, I might have to to not get mis genderd.

I'm sacred to come out to my parents and friends. It's not that I think they wont be supportive, it's that I don't want this to be a phase or that I'm faking being trans, and this is all in my head trying to be cool. I don't want to say "Hey, I wanna go be he/him and my name is MK." just for me to change my mind and regret what I said, and have to change back to my original name and pronouns. This happend once before, I thought I was non binary and I changed my name to Camron (I wanted Sage but my friend just lauged at me. And, no we are no longer friends) I also went by they/them. I came out my parents then a few weeks later I regreted it. I also don't want my parents to say something like about me being 'non bianry'.

I would also like to go on testosterone, but agian that has me coming out to my parents. I just want facial hair, a deeper voice, and everything else. It's really unfair.

I hope you enjoyed reading my vent, and me just babiling on about stuff :>